Meet our newest little addition, Grant Pitcher Shillig. Named after Chase's maternal grandfather, Grant Pitcher. He is a big boy with a very sweet disposition. He made his way into the world making sure it was on his time, not mine. Already so determined.
Anyone that knows me well knows that I have a new fondness for all natural births. I love the experience, the recovery and just how my body instinctively knows what to do to bring this miracle forth. Now I'm not saying that it's easy. My goodness NO! In fact, it's a pain that I can no more describe than I could explain all of the stars in the heaven. But for whatever reason it's the way my body feels more in control.
Just like with my last baby, my due date came and went...twice. Yes, I still got the strange looks and the apologetic glances. I still had questions like, "Why?" and very helpful people who told me just what I could do to induce labor. Luckily, because of last time, I knew even more to trust my body. When someone offered their kind words of wisdom, I simply nodded and smiled. I felt a peace waiting for him. It was calm, though HIGHLY uncomfortable. Yes, there were times I cried. Times I wished and secretly hoped. And there were times when I thought, "I just can't do another day".
It was in those times that someone would call, Dad would load up all the kids and take them on an adventure, or I remembered that I COULD do this and what was more- I SHOULD do this. Thankfully, this time I had wonderful doctors who- instead of making me feel like I was uneducated and without a degree and a medical title I knew NOTHING about what was going on with my body- they made me feel like I was the one in control, and that they were there to support me (though they would STRONGLY suggest not going further than forty-two weeks).
At my 41 week check up I made one last appointment for 42 weeks and 1 Day. Dr. Ott kindly mentioned that if I did make it to that day (Monday) and still had no sign of labor, he'd sweetly- yet strongly suggest I let them break my water. He made me promise to bring my hospital bag to the appointment :)
Thankfully, the day before I realized I wouldn't have to. That morning, as we were getting kids ready for church, I sat down to breathe through a few small contractions. As the morning progressed and Chase timed them, we found they were getting closer together. Also, keeping with the pattern from last time, I knew that once my water broke we needed to be either headed to the hospital in a hurry, or (my choice) already there when it did.
Once the contractions were 10 minutes apart, we set up a babysitter for the kids and set off for the hospital. The contractions didn't worry me. I could still talk and breathe. I knew they wouldn't start to really hurt until after my water broke. I just worried that I'd get to the hospital and they'd want to break my water. I still had such a fear of MAKING him come before he was ready.
On the drive over, I made Chase drive around a little more, timing and re-timing each contraction. They seemed to have stalled a little and I didn't want to be there any more than I had to. Once they were closer and I couldn't deny it any more, we headed over to Labor and Delivery.
What a contrast between last time! With Cash I barely made it in the door before I felt the urgency to push. And here I was walking in, admitting myself- all during contractions. It felt wrong. As they checked me in, I waited for the faces of shock and awe to pass as the nurses each reacted to my due date. I was only at a 5 (well, they guessed maybe even a 4+) and the contractions weren't as regular any more. They asked once again if they wanted them to break my water and I said no. Dr. Ott was on his way in and I wanted to see if he'd allow me to wait just a bit more. To my delight, he did - but with a time limit. He gave me until 3:00. It was just after 12:00 and I was ok with that.
A little while later I sent Chase home to get some lunch (hospital food is not friendly to the Vegans). While he was there, Dr. Ott came in and checked me. When he did, we found a little green in a small amount of water that came with it. He was concerned about meconium aspiration (where the baby ingests fetal stool into his lungs) so he needed to break my water right then. It was not quite the 3:00 mark, but I felt comfortable telling him to go ahead and felt certain that Chase would be back quickly.
As my water broke, I glanced at the clock and felt a strange calm come over me when I saw that it was right on the 3:00 mark and breathed even deeper when I saw Chase walk back in. And that right there is where the calm left. Not even 5 minutes after my water broke, I felt the pang of the strong contractions. I was still confident and feeling happy that things were moving along. My contractions were showing up almost exactly 10 minutes apart. The nurse kindly asked if I'd like to try the birthing tub and I did! The pain and pressure were just starting in my lower back and pelvis and I desperately wanted the hot water to relax my muscles before the real pain started.
She lovingly helped me in, reminding me that they would have to remove my monitors so I would have to tell her when I was having contractions so she could chart them. I couldn't believe how quickly the pain progressed! I had just got into the tub when I looked up with horror written on my face and (kind of yelled) "I need to push!" Before, with my last birth when I had said those words, I was looked at as silly, or I didn't quite understand when things needed to be done. Last time I felt like I was doing something wrong at the wrong time. This time, relief flooded over me as the doctor rushed in and said, "You do whatever you need to do! It's your body. You know what you need to do!"
As he said those magical words, they got the bed all set up. Suddenly there were loads of people in the room, though I couldn't tell you any specifics as I was not quite present. The pain was beginning to overtake me and I wasn't sure I'd even be able to get out of the tub!
I honestly don't remember the steps I took to get out. I only remember lying on the bed, seeing everyone bustle around and once they hooked me back up to the machines hearing, "Oh my! Your contractions are right on top of each other!" and "You were right! It's go time!" Just then I heard Dr. Ott say, "I can already see his head. Dad, you're gonna wanna come see this". I was waiting with each contraction for it to be over. I was trying so hard to "give in to the pain" to "ride the waves" but honestly, I couldn't even tell you what was happening or who was talking to me.
Once again, it felt as if my body was slowly ripping apart and I thought for sure I was simply going to break in two. I heard someone say, "It's been less than 30 minutes since your water broke!" and "It's a good thing you got back on the bed when you did!" I vaguely remember the sweet nurses holding my hands and pushing on the pressure points in my back. I remember screaming- why does that help so much?- and telling the doctor, "I don't think I can do this!" I thought for sure if I continued like this, with this amount of pain my body would SURELY break into pieces. It didn't seem likely that any body should experience this much pain.
I recognized the "ring of fire" as the burning came on loud and strong. This time, however I was excited for it. That meant the end was near. Only a little more pushing and no more bone ripping contractions! Once the head was out I heard, "Look at all that dark curly hair!" The nurses oohed and awed but I just couldn't relax yet. And then Dr. Ott grabbed my attention. I must have been still a little out of it because he said more than once, "Look at me..." When I did and finally zeroed in on his face, it took a few seconds to register what he was saying.
He gently held my gaze and then said, "He's a big boy. We still have to do his shoulders. I need one more giant push from you while I help turn his shoulders a little to help him out. Ok?" Again, I must have looked like I was in another world, because he had to ask me twice. Once I nodded my head in agreement, I suddenly wished I hadn't. 2 more nurses showed up at my shoulders and helped grab onto my arms. I grabbed them back and bared down like I never have before. It was with that push that the room went a little dark, I saw little twinkling lights (I finally understand why people always say they "see stars" right before they pass out!) and I felt like my whole body was filled with only air. The pain was so heavy, yet I suddenly felt light. I must not have been actively pushing, because the nurses all at once began to push my body with me.
I knew his shoulders were coming. I knew the Dr. was helping to turn him, but BOY did I feel like I was not even there! I had this vision as I was pushing through the hardest pain yet to date, that maybe the doctor had turned him TOO much. I thought for SURE he was coming out sideways- that's just how bad it hurt! And then, just as I was about to succumb to the weightless feeling and truly give in to the darkness (I felt like if I did, I would be able to sleep)- he was out. With one big rush he was here.
After that, they put him on my stomach and for a few seconds I couldn't get my arms to move. I still had a few more contractions coming and had to wait for the placenta, but it was all I could do just to keep my eyes open. I was vaguely aware that chase was there. He was taking pictures and I knew he had Grant's new knife ready to cut the cord, but I could't quite find the energy to move. One of the nurses bent over me and said so sweetly, "Boy! He is big! He must be starving!" She smiled at me and I knew that was a sweet little push to get me out of myself and back to focused on him.
As I began to nurse him- I noticed two things. #1- He WAS hungry! and #2- He was a screamer (which is probably due to the fact that he was so hungry!). The nurses weighed him and when I heard, "9 lbs and 11 oz" I was floored! I had never had a baby this big! The twins were preemies and both Kurt and Cash were both around 7 lbs and 13 oz. He stretched to 21" long and his legs and hands look like the size of a toddlers!
We're tired and he's hungry, but he's here and healthy. Dad has already called everyone he knows. They're cuddling together right now while I'm wishing for the pain to subside. The kids are coming later with cousin Miriam. Dad skyped with them right after Grant was born and they all got a good look at him through the phone :) Once he tried to hand the phone over to me, but I was in so much pain that I tired to smile and knew if I tried to talk I'd just start to cry so I just smiled and waved. The less they know, the better.
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