Lucky Me

Have I told you lately how lucky I am? 

I seem to be a broken record sometimes. 

I don't always feel so happy and ready to take on the world. When I wake up in the morning I roll over, glance at the clock and grimace when I see that 6:45 has yet again reared it's ugly head.  It comes too soon.  Without warning (well, ok...some warning) and is never really welcomed.  Like it or not, my day begins.  

I struggle most days just to keep it together. Do I make enough time for each individual child? 

Do I offer enough healthy well balanced meals? Am I giving plenty of choices so that each child learns how to make concrete decisions? Am I checking off the items on my to-do list and not neglecting the ones that need me the most? Am I managing my home (cleaning, meal preparation, safety issues) as well as I should? These thoughts run through my head on one continual loop. 

In between each of these hectic-pull-my-hair-out moments, I often stop dead in my tracks.  

And stare.  At these three.

When I stop and watch the twins toddle around or overhear Kurt talking like a teenager- it takes my breath away.  I immediately stop what I'm doing and stand perfectly still.  Almost afraid to breathe.  I'm afraid that if I make any sudden movements, real life will rear its ugly head and they'll go back to growing. 

It's a tangible moment that I can almost hold in my hand.  A special moment created just for me.  It's in these moments that I'm reminded of just how special they are, just how lucky I am, and overwhelmingly- what a colossal responsibility raising them is. 

It's in these moments that time seems to just stand still.  

They're so angelic.  

So serene.  

So innocent.  

So (dare I say....) perfect.

Though times like that don't always last long-

But when they do, I'm so glad they come to remind me that albeit a difficult and trying task, its rewards are far beyond anything I can see in this life.  And for that I am truly grateful.