Happy Heart Day

Like a little locket hangs
Round your little neck so closely to your heart
So shall I be forever
I know you're going somewhere new
And I know it's never gonna to feel like home to you
But this time the only way around is through

So keep looking up, on past the birds
And keep looking up past the clouds
And when you reach up and clear away the stars
I will be there where you are

I'm getting to like Valentine's Day more and more.

In the past (when it was known as, "Single-Awareness Day") I dreaded it. It was all about something I didn't have and always wanted.

Now, however, it's a time to reflect on what I do have. My husband, my children, my mom, my sister, my entire family (cousins, Aunts, in-laws; the works!) Looking at these two new little faces I think, You two are so lucky to be born into a family that just adores you and wants what is best for you.

I have loved my time here in the NICU to hold and love these babies without some of the stress that comes with every day living. A few nights ago, I held Vance in my arms and this overwhelming feeling washed over me. I felt so strongly the words, "Love and cherish him. You're so lucky to have him in your life and call him your own".
I know I feel this way about all three of them, and this impression will be forever burned in my memory. I know times have been tough and I may not always show my appreciation for what I've been given like I should.

These last two weeks have been exhausting. One second I'm on a high, the next I'm exhausted and emotional. I know this is the best place for my babies right now. I am so appreciative to the wonderful doctors and nurses that attend to them and make sure that they're well taken care of. On more than one occasion, I've been in my little area of the nursery and listen as the nurses talk to and care for one of our "neighbors". They rock, they sing lullabys. They love, they cuddle, they care. They're not allowed to give kisses, but I feel that if that were allowed, these little angels would fill up on buckets of loving kisses. This fills my heart with so much joy. They're doing their job, but so much more. How grateful I am to know that when I'm not there, there are a number of hands to hold, necks to snuggle, and hearts to care.

These nurses, doctors and volunteers are my Valentines this year.

I was pleasantly surprised today to walk in and see these valentines next to their scrapbook pages (that the nurses and volunteers make them when they first arrive). It did my heart good to see that they're loved here just as much as we love them at home. It truly made my whole Valentine's Day!

Speaking of valentine's, sweet little Miss Ava Dess received her very first valentine this year. There is a fellow mother here in the NICU that is a "pro" at this. Her son, Korbyn was born at only 12 oz. (not even a full pound!) and has been here for many months. Her road (and his) has been a slow, long, agonizing one, yet she still found the time to send out a valentine to all of the little girls in the nursery from her darling son. So thoughtful and cute! Too bad she slept through the whole thing!

Here they are doing their car seat test. An hour and a half sitting in their chairs with their probes on and monitors running to make sure they are able to travel home. Yea! It's one more step closer!

Today, I'm apart from my husband and son (I'm rooming in with the twins at the hospital now that they are feeding more and waking themselves up hungry. This is a blessing because it means we're close to coming home!). As much as I miss them, I know this is where I'm suppose to be. That, and this is where the twins need to be. I want nothing more to have them home, in their own bed, on our own schedule, but I know they need as much help as possible and like it or not, this is it.

So this Valentine's Day, love and hold those that are close to you. Appreciate them. Tell them you love them (and not just on this holiday!) All too soon time passes and one day we'll look back and wonder, Did they really know how much I loved them? I hope I can look back one day and answer with a resounding YES! to that question.

Happy Valentine's Day to you, my friends, my family and those that make my world so full of love!