Before I had the twins, I always wondered, "How in the world do they do it? How do moms feed them both at the same time? How do they make sure each gets the same amount of love, cuddling and attention as the other?"
Well, I may not have found the right answers, but I found some pretty close solutions.
When I first arrived home, my wonderful cousin Christy told me, "Just remember you'll figure it out. You just don't have to figure it out today." That has stuck with me every day since then. I rely on that thought over and over as I struggle, make mistakes and generally wonder, "Is this working?"
I am open to any solutions, suggestions or criticism you may have. Some days I feel like I'm almost getting it, just to feel 10 steps behind the next day.
When I first got home, I kept very good records of who had nursed and when, how long, which side...you get the picture. I even wrote down the type of dirty diapers they had, how many they had in a day and how long they were sleeping. This helped me keep track of certain things (like my sanity) for maybe a week or two and to make sure they were getting the adequate nutrition they needed to thrive.
I soon felt ready to venture out and try a schedule on a much larger scale, if only for my sake. Eventually, I found myself throwing reason out the window and it became a free for all "Fake It 'Till You Make It" sort of an attitude.
Yesterday (as stated in my previous post) was rough. I know I'm going to have days like that- often and I needed to make sure I remembered that, embraced it and learned from it. Today is much better. Throughout the night last night, I had many hours to think. I realized first thing was first- I needed a plan. Because the little ones were preemies, I told myself I wouldn't try to get them on a schedule or push activities upon myself until at least their due date. Here we are folks, and I have to say I have no idea where to start.
I first made a daily schedule for our family (more for me than anything). That way, I knew I just had to make it another hour or two before nap time (with all three napping at once I actually laid down for a bit too. What a difference that made!) and made sure the twins ate every 2 1/2 to 3 hours.
I'm still up in the air as to how to feed these two. Again, I'm looking for any suggestions or ideas here. It takes me an hour and a half to feed both (nursing both 15 minutes per side, changing diapers in between to keep them awake and then supplementing after). I've tried just nursing, but after seeing their weights go down the doctors insisted I do it after every feeding.
Some of you may know that I struggled with my milk production with Kurt. He was a "lazy eater" and I found myself pumping after every feed, and every two hours. I was heartbroken when I only pumped 1/2 oz. per side. They put me on a number of steroids (one of which I had severe anxiety from and they quickly took me off), Mother's Milk tea, Fennugreek and yeast pills. Still, by about a month, my milk had slowly trailed off and I found myself regrettably having to full formula feed.
This time I was determined to have a different outcome. This time the doctors knew my troubles from before and I was put on steroids even before I had the twins. Once they came I had a lot of help from the Lactation Consultant in the NICU and once again, we tried everything we could. At first, I thought for sure this was it. I was producing enough for both (though it was a struggle to get it going), they latched on great and I had very high hopes. I finally felt like I was truly fulfilling my calling and I was ecstatic.
After a few weeks, I found that Ava was a much more effective eater than Vance. He, like Kurt fell asleep, would latch great but then just sort of sit there. Pacifying more than eating. Suddenly, I saw a drop in my milk production and the doctors suggested I feed him formula and let Ava nurse, seeing as I was only making enough for one baby (which was more than I had before!). I continued to take the steroids, pump every two hours as well as after each feed, and do a "power pump" once a day.
Suddenly, my body started to reject the steroids. I broke out all over my body. I woke up one day with my eyes almost swollen shut, my lips huge and puffy (I looked like a bad Aerosmith impersonator) and had to get cleared by the doctors just to enter the NICU, let a lone feed my babies. They had me wait a few days, pumping and dumping until we figured out just what was causing the allergies.
I stopped taking one of the prescriptions and the swelling has gone down considerably. I still, however itch uncontrollably when my milk lets down and after I nurse, I get this burning in my chest that just about takes my breath away. The doctors think it's still from the steroids and I'm very close to stopping taking them.
In a nut shell- that means that with all of this it still takes up most of my day to feed them. Chase's solution is to feed them bottles, at the same time like this:
I'll tell you, I am just about there! When someone else helps feed them (or when I can feed them both a small amount after nursing) they are done lickity split! It's tempting in the middle of the night just to call it quits and go all bottle just to get some sleep.Now, I'm interested to know your opinion. Is there something you've tried that I haven't? Should I just give up (knowing that I made it this far and count my blessings)? I'm having a hard time making a decision and then sticking with it. As much as I hated formula feeding Kurt, I know that there were a lot of pros to that situation, but the cost alone about did us in. Now with two, we would go trough 2-1/2 cans of formula ($20 a piece) a week! And, that's just while they're eating around 3-4 ounces. Can you imagine when they start drinking 8oz?
Oi Vay.
I look forward to your comments and suggestions!
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